One thing, more than any other, eluded me the longest on my own path to self-mastery. I would not have said, at the time, that it was care – I have for very long felt deep care for many people, I have felt that I love myself, I have felt that I care deeply for the mother planet and our amazing species – but care it was all the same. Care has many faces…
Many people start their sovereign journey by taking control of their health, or at least it is something they do fairly early on their path. For me it was not so… sure I stopped eating junk food, stopped drinking all the time, began eating pretty healthy, etc. but until very recently, making the full switch away from the death program and into the program of physical rebirth was the ONE thing that I found IMPOSSIBLE to do. Most are struggling with this of course, but for very different reasons – my reason is the struggle to take back complete control over my body. No matter how subtle, in some way, I just couldn’t help but abuse it. I’m not trying to say that someone who indulges in a treat every now and again is somehow an abuser of their body… I’m saying that for me it was something more – a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) addiction to abusing my body. It didn’t matter what it was, and it didn’t need to be anything in particular – when I finally gave up smoking it was the easiest thing in the world to do. Why? Because I wasn’t addicted to smoking, I was addicted to abusing my body, and there were an infinite number of other ways I could find to do that!
It wasn’t until one day I was looking at a relationship that was playing out in my environment – a relationship in which I would sometimes receive the experience of being energetically attacked (which was by this point a rarity for the relationships in my life) – that I began to make a connection. You see, being the ‘sovereignty guy’ I had created a certain hardness. I had challenged myself in the external world to the point at which there was pretty much no situation that life could possibly throw at me that I could hold my shit together through, and not just hold my shit together, but do so without my survival trigger mechanisms being activated, or for that matter ANY sense of fear arising. It has always felt very good to possess this degree of inner peace and calm, but had it come at a price? Sure the relationship dynamic I refer to above didn’t trigger me or have any noticeable effect on me, but the simple fact that I was still an attraction to even subtle expressions of abusive behavior made it pretty clear that I had something still to look at in me. And given that this whole dynamic about body care was right in my awareness, and given that the body is a very representative of our femininity, and given that this particular relationship was with a woman, it became pretty obvious that I would never experience true unity with the feminine within or without, until I fell in love with my body.
What I had been doing, so it came to my awareness, was indeed embracing a loving sovereign path, but there was something missing – the balancing of the relationship between masculine and feminine within! The body is the feminine and my willful neglect of mine was a symptom of a still unhealed aspect of the sacred marriage within. This awareness was all it took to spark that shift in me that would initiate the love affair with my body, and see all the other stuff gently and gracefully fall away!
I am a man, so maybe sometimes these musings will have more relevance to men? I dunno… but the principle I’m discussing here is masculine and feminine, not men and women. So ladies, if you are abusive to your bodies – unhealthy consumption, less than divine view of physical form, etc. – your relationship to your feminine is just as fucked as ours is! And gents/ladies both, if you are highly disciplined in your care of your bodies – what you consume, the way you exercise etc. – then you are probably doing exactly the same thing in an entirely different way!
And funnily enough, since doing this, the last of the subtly abusive or dysfunctional dynamics/relationships I had been receiving from the feminine have fallen away entirely. The only ones that are left, to any great extent, are pure love and nothing else. Certainly it can be sad to lose some people from our lives (no doubt this is a major subconscious reason why we don’t generally address these things in ourselves), but the payoff is well worth it, and if they ever follow suit and align themselves with that same pure self-loving energy, they will always come back round anyway.
Point being, man or woman – it’s time to show yourself some care! The problem is that it’s really easy to say that but not so easy to enact unless and until you somehow see the light in a moment of clarity. Assuming as I shall that my Jedi writing skills have alas failed to impart such an enlightenment experience upon you as you have gorged on this article, here’s a few musings on how we might begin to find that care within ourselves…
Give yourself your attention – if you know you’re abusing yourself in some way (whether it be your body or some other aspect of yourself) but don’t feel you have the ability/strength to do something about it, then just give yourself your attention – ask the real questions of yourself…
Why do I feel the need to abuse myself?
What emotional reasons do I have for this self-abuse?
If I really look deeply is my self-abuse anything more than a mental disease – if I changed the program, would I be able to stop it?
What would be the self-loving thing to do right now? And if I have a resistance to doing it, why?
Of course, in order to want to know the answer to these questions, or for that matter to bother to find our what your REAL questions are in the first place, you’ll need to have a commitment to Truth!
The cool thing is that no one can ever hide from themselves forever once they know that ANY imbalance/self-love deficit/unhappiness (fill in the dysfunctional blank) can only exist because they are willfully ignoring the Truth of themselves…
I guess if you’re reading this, then you, like the rest of our awesome Academy group, have had enough of doing that already!
Just to dispel any misunderstandings here – please note that I am NOT telling you to be more disciplined with what you feed yourself, or with what exercise you do, or to create self-love regimens, or anything else for that matter. The point is that all of the aspects of yourself that are not in complete balance will adjust themselves to complete health on their own when your internal settings have changed – until that time all you’re doing by trying to force things in that direction is prolonging the agony by preventing the environments in which those settings can naturally change from emerging (and abusing yourself in the process).
We’re asking these questions of ourselves so we can experience the answers in order that our internal settings adjust on their own – the graceful path… in fact the only path which doesn’t involve some degree of self-inflicted further suffering.
No more self-help strategies, no more fixed modalities, no more practicing stuff, no more ANYTHING – it’s all content designed to keep you from yourself. This way – The Sovereign’s Way – is the easiest thing in the world… which is why it’s the hardest! To stand still and pay attention without pushing or manipulating your own life any longer – it’s what surrender really means when you let go the elevated woo woo bullshit. But if you can do it, you’ll be amazed at just how much more quickly your life shifts toward its highest expression.
To infinity and beyond x