I find my addictions to learning, and also procrastinating/drifting to be incredibly refractory. I understand perfectionism (fear of failure) and my identification with intellect is at the root of these addictions. I am always active intellectually – researching and learning. Ideas come to me and I passionately explore them, but get stuck there, lose momentum and fail to move to the birthing stage. I know that structure and schedule is likely what I need to disturb this very embedded habit, but I’m spinning my wheels. In this area, I continue to cling to safety so I obviously haven’t adequately challenged my fear of failure. I witness moments of my self choosing to follow the ruts, and simultaneously experience disappointment and relief – because I tell my self that next time will be different. Is this a matter of willpower and discipline? How else can I challenge this addiction? Even asking this question to face exploring this with you causes anxiety. Of course I like to be an observer and remain in background – no chance of failure there.